Imperfect Love

My heart loves perfectly

Wholly

Without terms and conditions

My heart is caged

Trapped

Within me

By mind and ego and scars

The past warps expressions

In the rush to emote

I trip over words

Phrased poorly

I am tactless

The worse it goes

The worse I make it

Stumbling and desperate

To give and share the perfect love I feel

The more I try

The more I fall

Stumbling over broken shards of truth

This healing is too hard, I cry

I squash the ego with humiliation

I’m sorry, I say

I’m sorry I’m broken

I’m sorry I wasn’t healed enough

I’m sorry I survived this way

I couldn’t find another way to make it

I couldn’t find a different way to live than this one

I contorted

To be loved

To be understood

I try to be what you need and what you want

Yet in the end I am just this

Mess of partially healed

Partially wounded

Partially wise

Partially healing

Partially damaged

Partially processed

Parts

I am a stew of emotions

I am a bird in flight in the rain

I am the limping wolf

The deer tangled in barbed wire

My heart is caught and wild and pure

If I knew how I would be only peace

If I knew how my words would only soothe

If I knew how my actions would only heal

If I knew how to be invincible

I would cease panicking

Stop suffering

End doubt

Even rocks are not invincible

The world itself suffers

All of life is a blend of love and pain

Light and shadow

I am a layered painting

I am a song of dissonance and harmony

And so are you

And so are you

Loving imperfectly like me

Being imperfectly loved like me

We muddle through it

Wading through this life

Knee deep in mystery

Bog sucking boots

Trying to find dry land again

We slog through the difficulties

Until we’re safe on the forest path

Filtered sunlight and dry trails

Our love growing more confident

Skewed a little more to perfect

A little further way from pained

And we walk joyous together

In the welcoming woods

Sentinels

Nature’s fortress formed by stone

Deep in the forest flora

The sentinels are growing there

Straight and tall

Straight and true

Shelter for the birds and creatures

Crawling through the day and night

Grazing, hunting, singing bright

Beneath the silent watch of wood

Guardians of all that strive

Protectors of the wilderness

We walk humble through the towering trees

Underneath the canopy of leaves

What will we find

On the other side of the rocks

We climb in reverence

We climb again

Always reaching beyond

The known

To discover another wonder

Mysteries unveiled

Another marker on the trail

When Ravens Cry 12/5/2020

Walking down a frosty woodland path

I heard the cries

I heard them calling

Angry voices shouting out

From beyond the trees

I had come for peace

I sought the tranquil comfort of the woods

This was not to be

No, this would not be

Maybe they would settle as I walked

Maybe they would resolve their quarrel as I moved

Through bare and bended branches

On leaves and moss icily encrusted

I meant to just keep walking

To find some quiet solitude, but I turned back

Following a game trail through the wicked thorns

I found them then, up in the limbs

The ravens crying angrily

Defiantly they cried

One more step, all took wing, and I could see

The trouble a predatory bird

The ravens cry a warning

The ravens cry a warning

Into the sky they fled

Leaving a still silence which

Into a tiny song burst forth

Short and sweet

Short and sweet

From the covering thicket to my side

And I walked on

Tranquil forest paths

As the sun rose to the raven’s

Swift good-bye

And my heart echoed with

The angry raven’s cry

The silence

And the sweetness

Of the trilling little ones

Who followed with me

For a time

They followed with me for a time

The Deep Woods – Daily Poem 12/2/2020

There in the deep woods

Where everyone ends up some time

Despair grows into

Loneliness

Weary and afraid to take another step

Dark, quiet solitude will rise

Hush, darling

Hush, darling

Listen to the earth as you press your ear to

The soil full of life

Galaxies of teeming multitudes

She speaks in whispers to your heart

Reminding you to breathe

Sink deeper into the cave of the great mother

She is holding you now as you weep

In this cocoon you will be transformed

From this moment forward you can fly

All hopes rising from the earth

In blooms, and bark, and padding creatures

Now you are hope for others

Holding gently to their hands when they, too

Enter the deep woods in the darkest night

Daily Poem – 11/25/2020

All that’s left of summer

The memory of vibrant blooms

Glorious colors rising up from the greens

Warm breezes

Cool rains

Those chattering flocks of birds

Curtailed trips and

Cancelled plans

Letting go of aspirations

I had such plans

To travel to forests and explore

The dappled sunlight in shadowed spaces

To stand on the shores of lakes and streams

We fell instead into stasis

Uncomfortable stillness in manmade boxes

Would you meet me there in the woods

To stand within a cathedral of trees

Listening to the hum of creation

A bumble

A birdcall

The music of air through the leaves

Someday

Someday when summer arrives

Again