Things People Say

She says I’ve lost weight again

I tell her I’ve been lovelorn

We both know it is a lie

I’ve gained two pounds since I saw her last

Tears no longer roll down these cheeks

It’s Lady Gaga I reply

What does she sing about

About relationships between people

She watches the neighborhood rolling through the window

As she says: It is very difficult to accept sweet love after abuse, I think

That might be true I tell her

The Lady sings

He says people who love are duped

That passive people are easily controlled

God is an asshole

Love is a scam to keep people

To keep people from success and whatever

I watch him drift away in clouds of thoughts

I show up daily in love

The grand illusion

He says that he would drive me crazy

I could never put up with him

We agreed

Made room for a friendship

Where romance could not take hold

She said I don’t need to be put down

Or treated badly

I wondered how much room to make

For bad days and trying times

Where and how to draw healthy lines

There are no answers outside

Of this heart

person in black leather shoes sitting on brown wooden chair
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

In A Row

My mind is arguing

Fighting

Fighting

Tossing and turning

Trying to plant thoughts

Evenly spaced

In a logical progression

All in chaos

Some escape

Like artists

Deep into the woods

With an easel

To paint wild creatures

And draw imagination

Out from under the canopy

Some take to wing

Like angels soaring

Clouds and Heaven and hymns

Only touching the solid earth for a moment

To Bless and disappear

Some creep in like nightmares

Sinewy tendrils of darkness choking

Winding and climbing

Cut them quickly before they bloom

Before they

Before

Hurry

Please

But I glow brighter

They shrink back

Slithering away

Then

I am dancing in the storm of thought

In rain without the acidic touch

I am light

Lighter still

Still lighting the flow

Still flowing the light

Shedding

To be dragged loose

Falling finitely

Clutched tightly by gravity

Graveness

Graven

In stark relief

Colors beginning to fade

Testament to a vibrant life

Outlined and defined

By every passing opinion

Until it is shed

The thoughts slipping away

Beliefs untangled

Definitions unknotted

An ongoing undoing

Stomping a new beat on a hard earth

Vibrations coming into play

Lower and higher

Searching for depth among the heavens

Constellations of meaning

In pinpoints of light

I see you there

Your light flickering in the dark

A divine dance to an amorphous rhythm

We shed

We shed

We shed

And when we let go

The Cosmos sighs in satisfaction

Be fully

To fully be in space

In time

Every day

Every moment

Spreading wings to fly

Free from the earth

And soar joyfully

Released

Thinking Upstairs 12/9/2020

I closed the door

Upstairs

Alone in a room

Music turned up loud

Louder

I jumped on the bed

Thinking

All I had been before spread out inside

My head

Cataloguing

Jump, jump, jump

The drumbeat thrumming

Revising labels

Resetting perspective

What I had thought I had known

Assimilating new information

Looking for compassion for what I

Had lost

Had given away

Had secreted away

jump

Maybe I cried

You don’t know

Maybe I sobbed

It’s not certain

The door is closed

The music loud

And I let go of everything

And started again

Thinking upstairs

Until thought fled

And only I was left

And the sense of myself

Drifted away as well

Who opened the door

Who came out of the room

Who had been thinking upstairs

To loud music

I could be anyone

Now