We Carry Nothing Now

How heavy it feels

This illusion

On days of greys and glooms

We say if onlys

And we say what thens

Wondering if there were more

Or less we could have done

Can we but stop time

Or go back

Or be different

The flowers would all be in bloom

The sun would shine

Our very souls would unravel

Into beams of starlight

We look forward lifting

Heaving the past with us

Dragging our mistakes behind us

Again again again

Piling new ones onto the old

If onlys

What thens

Why not ungrasp

The hold of fear

In realization of our light

Reduce the shadows

Become wild and free

Wind and ocean

Vast and unencumbered

Right now

Increased

body of water during dawn
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One Day, I Wandered Away

I drifted off on a warm summer breeze

There were no good-byes or tears to cry

Like the turning of a page to a new chapter

A different place, a new life, a strange way of being

Above the roads and trees and lakes

Floating higher than the birds and planes

Gravity holds me down no longer

Pure spirit in the world beyond

Am I alive or light or energy

Am I you and me and all that is

All that could be

Every potential disaster

Every possibility of joy

I hear you speaking to my home

But I have gone away

I’ve grown

I’m the tree standing in the forest

I’m the placid calming lake

I am the tallest mountain

The fastest winding snake

You ask me if I heard you

That and one million sounds as well

The scraping of the seam against my shoulder

The sock against my ankle shouting

That fly around the ceiling light is buzzing

Light hits a dust mote like a drummer drumming

I know you

And your violent ways

I’ll come back when you are finished

And speak gently to each bruise

One day I’ll take my body with me

One day I wandered well away

One day I was through with you

You melted in the river

Dissolved into the sea

You’ll never cross my path again

On that day, I will be free

So long now, I’ve been free

corn fields under white clouds with blue sky during daytime
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In This Quiet Moment

Ice fell and coated

Every surface of my world

The hush grew longer, deeper

I am isolate

Desolate

Alone

In this quiet moment

Here within this home

The lights are soft and gentle

The warmth is true and whole

My spirited lifted slowly

From the center of the room

Inhale exhale slowly

Calm and peace are found

My heart is opened further

My mind is weaving pictures

Of a life that could be mine

I await in this quiet moment

For the end of desolation

I let go of all impatience

I wait a moment longer

In the silence

Then begin my day

Intentionally intentioned

The quiet moment holding sway

cold melting snow dawn
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Sun Rise

Little flickering candle flame

I see you

Holding back the dark

I watch you grow

See how life tipped you over

Almost snuffing out that fragile flame

I see the spark catch as you become

A fire burning through the debris

Those before you left behind them

From this distance, I float

Enthralled as your slow burn

Raging and ebbing

Creeps across the wasted lands

Breaking open seeds long dormant

Waiting for the heat of your existence

They call you wild and run from your path

The world burns with your passion

The collision seems slow

Burning worlds you and her and him and them

Smashed together by happenstance

Igniting

Galactic conflagration

Burning star giving birth

To satellites

Meta-you becomes the center

Of the solar system

I watched the sun rise

Where a candle once burned

Small against encroaching darkness

red and orange galaxy illustration
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Blankets

The dampening effect

On sound

After a soft wet snowfall

Tucking the earth in for her sleep

Winter longings

For healing dreams

While stars sprinkle the galaxies

With ancient lights

Like you

photography of trees covered with snow
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Halves

We split apart in the beginning

During the great expansion

Hearts breaking open

With each loss growing larger

With each good-bye softening

With each morning shining

Though cold dark times we flailed

The great failings

Huge mistakes

Mispoken words

Storms surrounded us

Blowing strong against us

Until we were reduced

Bare bones and sparkling spirits

Wrestling demons and decisions

There was that perfect hello

When all that had been awry

Clicked into place

The great turning of keys in locks

Chains falling unneeded to the ground

Now we fly through clear blue skies

Skimming and diving and circling

Choosing and creating a nest in a tall tree

Under the eaves

Under the daytime moon

We dream soft and pure

True and good

Of that peaceful lake within

Whose shore we never leave behind

Again

Weapons of Soil

We turned the earth over in rows

Removing rocks

Breaking chunks of clay

We composted the past and stirred

When they came for us

We marched and toiled

Longing for the days of seeds and

The times we had hoped for rain

It’s not our battle we fought

We were turned over the earth in rows

Weapons of soil

Carving territories

Engraving lines to define

Our stained hands longed for the dirt

For something simple and straightforward

We fought to return home

When we got there we found it was gone

Weeds and salted earth

Barren

The trees majestic were stumps

The wood turned to ash in fires which

Never warmed us

So we huddled next to the ruined forest

Weeping in the cold

Would that the story be over

How we persist in misery

Roaming to find a fertile place

A peaceful pond or

A clear flowing stream

Something to nourish us

Something to nurture us

Someone to welcome us with our ghosts

We put hand to blade and hand to plough

The work is never done

The work is never done

The light sparks and sputters

We sing to the tinder

Until the soft winding smoke wisps

Into a frosty night

Small flickering flame rising

Here come the horns and flute

Thundering hooves and the call of an owl

Weapons of soil gone feral

Wild in the wood

To create something new

To bring forth that which was left behind

When we left the wilderness

The spirit wells like a rising river

There is a surge as the tide rushes to shore

The moonshine insists

The sun never relents

The face of the earth changes

We turn the earth over in rows

Composting what we once had needed

To grow a fresh crop

From new seeds

crop photo of person planting seedling in garden soil
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Spinning

Dervishes understand

The power of motion in the round

Twirling and whirling

Becoming a vortex

Body moving in prayer

Arms wide

To hold the hope of all the world

While we dance through life

Unknowing

Unaware

That our every breath

Our every thought

Every movement is a prayer

This intention even unintended

Our state of mind

Our state of spirits

Spins outward

You can feel it when you pass by

Those golden souls who shimmer

Casting light in the dark

You can feel it when you pass by

Those enshrouded by sorrow and clouds

Each morning in the light of dawn

We begin

Our intention

Our invention

Our devotion

Our spirit in its motion

We are spinning and casting

Reacting or reflecting

From the center of our being

Our meditation draws us inward

To touch the brightest part

A mantra to give some structure

May we be healthy and happy

May we be at peace and at ease

May our movement cast light

As we pass by

woman in white dress standing
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Whirling Dervishes are Islamic, and the mantra I refer to is a Buddhist mantra. I am always more interested in the advancement of the spirit than adhering to a specific religious tradition, and have spent much of my life studying various religions and philosophies. What can I use and apply in my own life to deepen and broaden my connection to the all-that-is drives my curiosity. Will I play music and dance with joy? Yes. Am I a Whirling Dervish? No. Will I sit in meditation and chant mantras for personal growth? Yes. Am I Buddhist? No.

Where do you get the inspiration for personal development? How do you apply it to your life?

Dig Out

Push aside the rubble

Of that collapsed life

How it crumbled down around you

Buried you under all you could not do

The beams across your legs

Fallen structures in your mind

All the expectations that they told you

Held treasured happiness unkind

Crawl away from every moment

Tangled ankles tightly wound

The edifice of other’s imperfect ideation

Of a life of satisfaction

Would not stand firm around the fire in your soul

You burned it down

Smoldering and crumbled

From the ashes you have rumbled

To wander and to search now

For something ethereal and true

Far out of reach

Not well defined

Balanced on the wire

Of uncertainty and exploration

Through mists of dreams anticipation

Don’t look back

Don’t look down

Each step takes your full concentration

Until you reach new ground

Blaze the trail through mystery

Among the trees of wisdom

Revive your spirit

Drink deeply from the clear calm lake

Of peaceful contemplation

You were meant to wonder

Your were meant to question

You are here to redefine

You are here to realign

Leave the ruins there

To be covered by the vines

Let the past be fallow

Plant your dream into the wind

All your intentions changing patterns

Circle thrice and say the words

Singing chanting writing

The world is waiting for your voice

For your stepping into power

Dance the dance that’s dancing

The music of your life

Something greater than yourself

Is emerging

Calling you away from strife

One more step and you can fly now

One more turn and you will soar

The wings that you’ve been growing

Snapping open

Stretching wide

Fly up with me, my friend

We meet again outside of time

We meet again outside of time

light landscape nature water
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Unregarded

Unremarked and solitary

Did you find yourself unraveled

Are the trees whispering your name

When you walk beneath their branches

Are the birds still singing of your passage

There below

Do the chipmunks and the squirrels

Chatter on in playful sparring

Are the feelings in your breast drawing swords

And gone a warring

Does the battle rage within you

Under the blue and open sky

Waving grasses lightly browned

Do they bow as you walk by

Is the wind bringing you messages

To the spirit that you carry

Urging you to hurry

Do not linger

Do not tarry

In the coldest morning’s touch

Frosted lashes

Cold dark tales

Are you running toward a future

Are you fleeing from what was

Will you stop and see the beauty

Close your eyes and just step off

Too many ways to go along

Too many ways to stop

Can you hear the murmur there

Beneath the traffic and the noise

Unwrap the bandage from the wound

Let it seep and let it pour

You’re almost there

You’ve almost made it

Just one more rise to reach

To feel the sun

That shining balm

Central star

And come undone

In this quiet morment

Right before the twilight

And the dawn

Love is chasing down your heart

Love is waiting at the bend

Love is the path on which you run

Love is the stars at night

Love is the flaming dawn

Love is the shimmering

Glimmering

Light within you

Love has been there all along