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I, Caress

I, Caress

Tickling the leaves on the trees

How they dance with delight

I lift a strand of your hair

But do you hear my giggle

A touch on a bare arm

I lift the autumn colors

Swirling and skipping along

The concrete, the grass, the asphalt

In another moment I stream

Warm and soft light from the source

I part clouds gently and touch the earth

Illuminating the flowers, a branch, a patch

The top of your head and the tip of your nose

But do you feel the hum of the universal

A deep breath and I dive and expand

A splash of a gull and the lap of a wave  on bare feet

I rush the shore again and again pushing pebbles

Mixing sand into my rhythm

It is elemental

This transformation

A remembrance of otherness

Free spirit takes any shape or form and connects

I, Caress

Life itself with a tender touch

My friend, I will never leave you without this I spark in the pit flames leaping radiant to the sky

One with the stars

Do you see me there in the fire while you burn inside

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Weeping for Abigail (With audio)

Sunset certainly the sun glowed orange yellow pink

Near the lake by the huge weeping willow

Glinting lies rippling across the top of the water rustling

Now smooth

And it rained

Circles overlapping one another in impossibilities

It was always raining

The low clouds hugging the spirit in a damp uncomfortable grip

Meaty fingers digging into arms or thighs

Faint hint of juicy fruit gum and aquanet

I should pick better words for the sunset colors

What word is more pink than pink or that shade of orange which

Hovers and blends between the hot pink and the glowing yellow

Golden salmon peaches blues

And the dark dark water under the glinting

swallowing the colors

Until they shine palatable

The grey tabby brushes loose hairs against

Knee high socks

The design is lovely, not quite lace but pointelle

I want to pet her and I reach

The reprimand is as fast

I pet anyway

I belong to no one

Hissed rebukes and I will pay for it later

I would no matter what

Pets or no pets

The tabby and I are commiserating

There is too much noise and nodding and tight smiles

Grief stricken eyes but they don’t know the depth

And breadth of it

They think they weep for the person who died

That they weep for those of us left behind

But in the end I am sure

Everyone is weeping for Abigail

Look at her she purrs

Her fur is soft and gently striped

Her whiskers are white and stiff

A minister says he and she and they are with God now

And no longer in pain

The water glints

Are you sure about that

Why then do we weep for Abigail

If big Ned is no longer

And Sissy’s in the grave

And Aunt Delila’s coffin slowly lowered

And the dirt’s thrown down

A clod

Pad pad pad and a soft strike

Retracted claws and still there’s a snag

On a pointelle knee high sock

It’s grey too the socks

The corduroy dress, the thin kind not that

Ropey thick stuff

Shoes are tossed in a corner by a door

Wooden floors beg for sliding

Even as the dirt comes out in hushed whispers

No one is good enough to avoid speculation

Was it the pills or the heart

Had someone found out about a scandal

Was there a scandal

How scandalous that there’s nothing to speculate

Was he or she or they just boring and dull

And the sun is setting and setting and will never

Fall beyond the horizon and this is hell

This landscape of midwestern church clothes

And sensible shoes

And corduroy and tabby cats who speak in gestures

And rolling throat noises

Feet are sliding on the wooden floors and someone

Says stop that

And someone else says let her be she doesn’t understand

But we are all gathered together for ever

Weeping and weeping for Abigail

I’m sorry you are weeping too

I’m sorry no one escapes it

The Sun sets and the rain falls and the water

Absorbs more water and the circles overlap

And the weeping willow falls into the lake

Drowning

The earth has a gap now

A ripped up shredded space where a giant

Of motherly love once stood

The secret behind every tear drop

Is the how the blood of the tree flows

Without ceasing and everyone who has ever

Laid on the floor and cried

Or faced the ceiling as silent tears slide onto a pillow

Weeps for Abigail

All weeping for Abigail

And they don’t know it yet

But when they lie stiff in satin lined boxes

Wearing the nicest set of clothes they hated

Their spirit has finally understood what it means

Because the stocking covered feet no longer slide on the wooden floor

No one is there to pet the grey tabby

There’s no thighs or arms to pinch and grab

No laughter shouting crying out defiant

There is a ghost animating a body

Abigail is dead and they can’t see her until

They cross the veil

They know then they were always weeping for Abigail

They know then they were always Abigail

A ghost animating a body and not understanding

The glinting of light on the water

Or how sunset lasts forever

Or that it’s good to be notorious

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Phoenix Dust (2009)

Play in the sunshine, laugh in the car

Sing in the shower, dance on the bar

Fly on the plane, but you’ll never get far.

Light a candle, and put forth your thoughts;

Bend them in circles and throw them like darts.

I flew to close to the sun and got burned,

I laid my heart bare, but alas, it got spurned.

I opened it up and let it bleed out,

Opened it up; insecure, full of doubt.

I lay in the ashes, the coals and the dust,

Bruised, battered, and beaten,

Crumbled in pieces like iron into rust.

Arise from the ashes sweet phoenix inside,

Let go of the pieces alive in my pride,

Sing the eulogy, weep, as I died.

A feather, a wing, a talon take flight,

And soar through the moon in the bitterest night.

It beats and it thrums here inside of my breast,

The beat of the drum right here in my chest,

I’m alive and I’m flying,

My heart ever dying,

Someday, forever will rest.

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Life Demands

There’s always the pull away

The take away

The outtakes

There’s a breathless wonder

An intake

The exhale

There’s street signs

Or a map

Or you wander lost

Forgotten

Among the details

Life demands

This yearly accounting

Life demands

A participation

Life demands

A change of direction

The sudden absence of love

The laughter extinguished

A heart pain

Life demands

The inexplicable return

A chuckle turns into a guffaw

The sun breaks free from the clouds

The unexpected flash of joyous bouyancy

Harken then

To the demands

Line them up and cross them off

The pain and joy ebb and flow

Waxing and waning

Sit with the pain

Embrace the joy

Life demands life

Life demands living

Rebel against the inexcusable

Rebel against the squandering

The clock ticks

Inexerable

All you have is now

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At the Wishing Well

They poured wishes into the well

Dropping copper dreams into clear water

Waiting for a feeling

A change

Something

Like all good things

Time was required

They turned away from the well

Left their wishes behind them

In the forest and woods

They romped and played

Frolicked and fell

Tumbled and turned

They sang to the birds

Told stories to the frogs

Headed home when the sun began to set

For months they returned to the well

Looking down to see if anything grew there

Deep in the water where dreams come true

And they grew

Years passed and they rarely visited the well any longer

Maybe they forgot even what they had dreamt

What they had wished

So much time passed that when the dreams showed up quietly

They went unremarked

So it is with wishes sometimes

Coming true when the wisher is no longer looking

The dream returning while the dishes are being washed

And the dog is being taken for a walk

In the autumn leaves they walked again

To the wishing well

He observed that her wish had come true

She noticed his dream had finally been realized

And they laughed together at the distance travelled

The difficulties managed

For a moment they thought they heard

The laughter echo from their own voices across time

Songs and stories given as gifts to the birds and the frogs

Coming back again to their hearts

As they walked home

In the twilight of fall

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Top 10 Posts 2022

I definitely did not post regularly towards the end of the year here.

Writing happened – I opened and closed my Patreon account. Been shuffling my deck of cards life has dealt me and trying to get some workable structure to my daily routine. Some of it comes down to having a lot of simultaneous paths I pursue – music, poetry, stories, art plus when do I eat, sleep, shower, exercise?

On top of that, there’s the hustle to earn money. I sidelined the podcast towards the latter part of the year as well. I put in over 500 hours of words out there, and have earned just over $2 from them.

Evaluating when to quit and when to grit – as the saying goes – means choosing between activities and pursuits while paying the bills. I’m sliding into the new year with some good news – one of my art pieces will be in a gallery exhibit here in Bloomington, IN in January. I have a music gig scheduled for February, and an upcoming album release that I’m super excited to share with you soon!

I’ve started a monthly poetry discussion and word play group at the local library, and that’s been a lot of fun. I take my guitar for it. Just begun, and the next three scheduled!

Here are the top Poetry blog posts for the year starting with the least of them and working the way up to the most popular:

I See You, Magnificent

Black and Grey

My Bones Fell Out

White Privilege is White Expectation

You Never Wandered So Far

Freshly Brewed Excerpt (Poem)

By Moonlight

Wild Roses

Freshly Brewed (Poetry Book Excerpt)

Weapons of Soil

Thank you everyone who has stopped by here, the words of encouragement, the shares.

I appreciate you. Thank you.

May 2023 bring you more of everything good, and a reduction of the toils and pains that come with being alive.

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The Alphabit

A needed B to C

D combined with E to stretch

F never quite made it all the way to G

H ran into I

J went down to the K

L turned on M who stopped at N and O jumped clear

P looked at the long Q

R gagged S to stop the sound

T sat and thought and steamed

U won’t believe this story true

V doubled itself and called it W

X factored on the spot, but wondered Y

Z never rounded back to start again

Or even try

So this has been a brief alphabit

I wrote it just for you

closeup photo of cubes on pink surface
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