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Whispering Love

I unpacked my fears and flaws
Audited and sorted
I folded and repaired
The tears and rents within
With tenderness I reached
A wilderness untamed
An isolated beach
An ocean calm and still
A never-ending peace
A refuge in the storm
I tossed away some garments
Doubt and worry in the pile
They just no longer fit
The shape I have become
Every fear
Every flaw
I know their names now
Wrapped carefully in kindness
Less likely to sting
This time of year I air it out
Housecleaning in the spring
Neatly folded into drawers
Or cast out in the rain
I whisper love
Both day and night
I whisper love
Confidence and fright
I whisper love
In darkness and in light

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A Small Peace to Pay

I sat in meditation for hours or a day

Listening to my breath

My heartbeat

And the rest

The world did slide away

In darkness as I prayed

The prayers then fell aside

There was nowhere I could hide

In the empty stretching void

Feelings rose and feelings fell

I sat in meditation

Until I heard the bell

A resonation rising falling

An atonal silent calling

Loud in absence

Did I grow there in the forest

Of darkness silent

Is this realization

To know the breadth and depth

Of spirit

That giants walk among us

Dressed in common streetwear

No way to tell who’s who

Puff of smoke

I disappeared

The memory faded too

I walk the streets as small

As ever I used to

But for a moment I was grande

For an instant I was wise

Now I avoid my meditation

Sitting still and quiet

I take it with me when I walk

Doing dishes and the like

It’s a small peace to pay

Coins of wisdom falling

Into open palms

Trusting the right moment

The right word for to say

We are not alone here

Struggling with our tasks

Connected as we are to every life form

For help to come

We just must ask

I am not wise or wisdom bound

I seek only for the path

The next right thing to do before me

A clear step forward on the way

Holding lightly to this person

Who I’ve been and who I am

A small peace to pay

Centered in my heart

Dollars dropping dangers

Drifting on the breeze

The pains and joys of life

In and out just like the tides

Floating in this moment

Of crowded solitude

I walk the streets around here

Just as wise as you

lighted candle
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Broken Dawns

How many mornings

Awoken by tears

How many nights

Kept up by fears

How many times Death

Knocked at the door

Running away before

I could get there

“Come back!”

“You missed!”

Suffering is too great at times

To want to bear another minute

How many broken dawns cracked

Before day’s growing light

How many rivers flowed into the sea

Salty sadness running running

To the sea

Drowning in the waves of grief

Weighted down by guilt and shame

Longing only for relief

For someone to say my name

With love

What ungrateful, resentful steps

I took shrugging through those days

Looking only at my toes

Counting all my woes

Seeing only foes

I fell so many times

Lying on my back

Sprawled across the cracks

Splintered sidewalks sprouting weeds

Blue sky above me

So many hands helping me to my feet

So much love poured in and I

Well shielded watched it pour away again

There drummed a drum in time

Outside of these convincing temporary

Temporal constraints

I became a broken dawn

Unbearably made of light

Painfully awakening to my own role

In my plights

How through each shade of morning

I arise

I arise

Every broken dawn

Through each shade of mourning

I arise

A broken dawn

red flower near white flower during daytime
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In This Quiet Moment

Ice fell and coated

Every surface of my world

The hush grew longer, deeper

I am isolate

Desolate

Alone

In this quiet moment

Here within this home

The lights are soft and gentle

The warmth is true and whole

My spirited lifted slowly

From the center of the room

Inhale exhale slowly

Calm and peace are found

My heart is opened further

My mind is weaving pictures

Of a life that could be mine

I await in this quiet moment

For the end of desolation

I let go of all impatience

I wait a moment longer

In the silence

Then begin my day

Intentionally intentioned

The quiet moment holding sway

cold melting snow dawn
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Halves

We split apart in the beginning

During the great expansion

Hearts breaking open

With each loss growing larger

With each good-bye softening

With each morning shining

Though cold dark times we flailed

The great failings

Huge mistakes

Mispoken words

Storms surrounded us

Blowing strong against us

Until we were reduced

Bare bones and sparkling spirits

Wrestling demons and decisions

There was that perfect hello

When all that had been awry

Clicked into place

The great turning of keys in locks

Chains falling unneeded to the ground

Now we fly through clear blue skies

Skimming and diving and circling

Choosing and creating a nest in a tall tree

Under the eaves

Under the daytime moon

We dream soft and pure

True and good

Of that peaceful lake within

Whose shore we never leave behind

Again

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I Left You In the Mirror

Maybe you are crying still

Our eyes met briefly through the pane

When I walked away with no glance back

I thought I heard your hand tap gently

On the golden gilded frame

It’s been years since I last saw you there

Generations past

I think I see your shadow waver

Glimpses through the looking glass

I shut my eyes and turn away

This path is long and neverending

Quietly descending

Then loudly challenging the force

Of gravity’s heel clutching fingers

I won’t look

I left you in the mirror

And as far as I can care to know

You’re standing in there still

Yet I write these letters

Hoping that you’ll see

We’ve almost made it home now

Almost there

It won’t be long now

Almost free

And in the morning misty air

Shower fogged and steamy mirror

I thought I saw you wave to me

Still safe behind the glass

I held your gaze a moment

And made peace with the past

mirror reflecting tender hand with pink rose
Photo by Ruba Abdulaziz on Pexels.com

I went into my draft folder to delete this morning’s draft and found this titled, but unwritten post. As they do sometimes, the words flowed easily. When I went looking for a photo, I found this one captivating, and better than the image I thought I had been seeking.

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Small Illumination

When the night falls silently

Cloaked over the restless day

Fears of the dark and unknown

Rising within and surrounding without

Each step feels fraught

Will the ground hold

Will the path stay steady

Is there a missed obstruction

Feet tripping over downed branches

Choices not taken or rued

How the heart beats faster

Shallows in the breath

The ominous quiet pervades

Calm is the challenge

Centering within

Cultivating a small illumination

That window to an infinite light

Texturing a peace

Like still water refelecting

The light of the round moon

Whole

Through the mists of fate

One sure step taken

To reveal the next

This is how, then

The journey resumes

In this small illuminated place

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Couple (with audio)

They look over the water

From grizzled visage

The years layered and weathered

On sentinel faces

She wonders if spring will come soon

And if the family of mallards will return this year

He is watching a crow fly and doesn’t answer

She did not need him to answer

After so many years

The most important conversations were silent

They overlook

They withstand the changing seasons

Growing older

Perhaps growing wiser

It’s hard to tell from here

Watching the bark shift in the dancing light

I think they are happy there

Together by the water

As their silences span days, and months, and years

I visit when I can

And listen to the wisdom

Left unsaid

Thrumming from the tree which

Holds them sacred

Vigilant couple

Watching over the water

Keeping an eye on the sky

I’ll be back

I tell them

But they know that maybe I will

And maybe I won’t

After I’ve left she tells him

They always think they know

And that’s their biggest flaw

He looks at the sky, empty now

And holds his peace

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Kicked to the Curb (with Audio)

On a dingy curb they sat

She in a dress once white

Grubby ruffles sliding down

From scabbed knees

Bare feet in the gutter

A thin arm wrapped around

His shoulders boney under

A faded blue shirt

His grim shorts matched

The grey cement

She called his name as she

Held him

Grabbed his elbows then

Wove her arms into his

The traffic in front of them

Pulsed in fumes and beats

Music poured out from cracked

Windows

Behind them legs took people

Quickly to their next appointment

She called his name

She called his name

I need you, she said

She called his name

I’m sorry, so sorry, so sorry

She called his name

Please survive

I will find you

In this bubble outside of time

Pact struck

Within the swirling city

That never was

Children who never were young

Spit on palms and clasped hands

Making promises

For the future

Writing hope into the lamplight

Singing dirges to the past

Drawing stick figures in grime

A couple kissing

Two in love

Encircled by an asymmetric heart

And when they woke

To another day in hell

Apart and never parted

Hanging on by a thin thread

Woven from a fragment of a

Dream half remembered

Until the day it was needed

“I’m glad you made it,” she said

“I feel selfish for needing you to survive that.”

“I hope you found some joy in the sunlight,

And laughter in the wind,

And peace in the water,

And love growing up from the soil.”

Possibilities swirled around them

Standing there between the light

And the Abyss

A single path began to coalesce

As he slid his hand into hers

“I said I would find you,” he told her

Every star in the sky became a blossom

Every flower in the meadow burst into flames

Birds became dragons

Whales flew through purple skies

Smoke curled up from stone chimney

A cat slept next to a dog in front of the hearth

They curled together under a blanket on the couch

She began to read to him from an unfinished book

When he closed his eyes for a moment

Under the words she spoke, he heard her call his name

And his name meant home to her

And so he stayed

monochrome photo of person sitting on curb
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
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Moonlit Gift

As I lay sleeping

Curtains open to the night

A slice of moon tapped at my pillow

Cool bright touch upon my face

How young I was and

Fearful of the dark

Yet in that quiet moment came awake

In the silent benediction of the light

For a few moments in communion

Listening to the early morning hush

A peace stole over me, and entered in my heart

It will be all right, one day

Just like this moment in the night

Each luminescent touch down through the years

Planting hope and weeding out the fears

Another reason to hold onto this life

And wait out the darkness until the dawn

For years I sat in darkness, silent

Until the dawn