Missing Nothing

I made room

Expanded

Fit love into sun filled mornings

Woodland walks

Midnight songs

Moonlit rambles

Between times so full

I never stopped

No need to stop

No lack therein

Nothing missing

Like water carving out the rock

Like earthquakes opening the ground

Like giving away things no longer used

I made room

Now I am open and not full

Of the light that used to shine

I turn under the silver moon

Slowly under a slivered shard

Of what had been robust and

Bright

To myself I am returned

Missing nothing

But that song

That shimmering glow

Just salty rivers running muddy

From these eyes down to the sea

I walk these sandy shores again

Under the stars

Just me

northern lights over mountain and forest
Photo by Mohan Reddy on Pexels.com

Wild Places

I remember how the air wrapped around my arms

A little cooler as the sun lowered out of sight

The dirt path beneath my bare feet

A thrum emanating from the trail

Oh, how bright the moon shined

Not quite full

Small, wispy clouds curling like smoke

Each tree shimmered in the fading light

Some leaves had turned, and some had fallen

Lush green still dominated the canopy

Stepping lightly along the soft earth

What did I follow

Why did I go and not turn back

This mystery ahead calling me

Into the dark forest

The trail narrowed and twisted

I climbed and descended

Touching my palm against this smooth bark

Against that rippled surface

Too low to hear it

I could feel the vibrations

Ahead of me

Glowing faintly brighter before

fading

I reached and stretched

My paws scratched through the surface

My fur brushed against the underbrush

As I ran loping up the mountain

Soon enough

The rest of the pack had joined me

A short stretch of communion

Then they veered off t o the left

To the right

And the summit was mine

I howled

Sending my spirit into the night sky

A flare into the void

I listened for you then

In a palpable silence

In a tense quiet

Again I set loose all my longing

A sound terrible echoing to this day

I am sillouette

A dream

An illusion of loss and desire

Waiting for the answering call

Of your soul

Unquenched in the wild places

Endless desolation

Sometimes I still hear that awful silence

As I add another item

To the cart

And stand in line to check out

mountains covered with snow
Photo by Kasuma on Pexels.com

Behind the Song: Blue Night

Blue Night came from a small snippet of poetry that I had jotted down or maybe posted on Twitter and then printed out as possible lyrics. Rosalie said it sounded like a lullaby, which I initially rejected (that’s just a knee-jerk reaction for me), but then later thought, well, why not? It does sound a little like a lullaby. We had discussed it several times, and then I fleshed out the words some. We recorded the background for this song at my apartment with Rosalie at the keyboards, and me in front of my desk with my guitar. One of the things I love about this song is the synergy and the improvisation. We played around with a couple of different piano settings before Rosalie settled on the more organ-like sound, and I had found an interesting riff to explore, and then we just played with no heed to what the melody might be, or how much time we needed. 


During this kind of improvisation, I sink into the music and stop hearing it so much as seeing it due to the fact that I have a form of synesthesia which makes reading music (visual) extremely challenging for me. When I improvise, I can see the shapes of music, and the movement, and I can see how what I’m doing fits into it geometrically, but there’s no easy translation for what I see with what is written as typical musical notations. So we played and when we got to the end, I say, “Okay,” which I left in the track. That was the take. 


I worked on the vocals a few days later, struggling to find the sound that would go with the background, working by ear, and growing increasingly frustrated until, with a slight adjustment in how I was seeing my vocals, I tuned into where and how I wanted the melody to go into the shape of the music Rosalie and I had created together. The background vocals took more redoing, and fussing with the mixing and whatnot, but the main body of this song was put together swiftly. 


Emotionally, this song is a testament to how even close, soulmate relationships don’t completely expunge the feelings of sadness and isolation people can experience. Sometimes all we can do is sit with someone through those times in a comfortable companionship that you wish would always be there, even if it includes the ever-present Blues.”

~ Wendy Kheiry

Unsettled

The great winnowing of possessions

Releasing the unnecessary

Shredding the past

Carefully boxing up the essential

Giving, giving, giving

Each load that goes

A bit more freedom gained

The road calls strongly

“Are you coming?

Are you on the way?”

Well, I’m going somewhere

Similar to a place I’ve been

Time adjacent

The stream has run the long course

The years have changed me

I will step into the water

Remembering the stream that was

And the young woman who grew there

I bring the world with me

All that I’ve seen since then

Molded by travel and children and joy

Reduced by loss and loneliness and pain

A life changing movement

A life changing moment

A new start

A fresh beginning

“I can be flexible”

I said

And made it so

“I don’t have the confidence for this”

I confided

And yet it arrived with that acknowledgement

Not the brash bravado I used to wear

A committed determination

All I can ask of myself today

Is to show up for this life

To risk, and to try

I am not alone in this

I am loved

I am loved truly and fiercely

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do”

There is room for me

In this world

That for so long I felt

Held no space for me

I will step into the water

And let it cool my feet

From the heat of travel

And rest a moment

As the sun filters down through the trees

The Deep Woods – Daily Poem 12/2/2020

There in the deep woods

Where everyone ends up some time

Despair grows into

Loneliness

Weary and afraid to take another step

Dark, quiet solitude will rise

Hush, darling

Hush, darling

Listen to the earth as you press your ear to

The soil full of life

Galaxies of teeming multitudes

She speaks in whispers to your heart

Reminding you to breathe

Sink deeper into the cave of the great mother

She is holding you now as you weep

In this cocoon you will be transformed

From this moment forward you can fly

All hopes rising from the earth

In blooms, and bark, and padding creatures

Now you are hope for others

Holding gently to their hands when they, too

Enter the deep woods in the darkest night