Posted on Leave a comment

Alone is All Right

Alone is alright

I am good company

There are books in the corner

Stories waiting their turn

Violins in the air

Weaving peace in my heart

Twinkle lights twinkling

In bright cheery shapes on the wall

Crossing off quests from the lists that I keep

Each adventure leads to a new mystery

Alone is all right

After all this time

Turn up the music and sing

Turn up the music and dance

I fold myself this way and that way

I stretch out beyond these four walls

In contemplation I grow like a vine up the trellis

My mind flowers and releases each seed of new hope

I am right where I need to be

Doing my thing

I show up with love

Conscious and aware

I choose every day to be here and to stay

To do my best by the people I pass on the way

The secret is that I am never alone

My solitary existence is watered and grown

By the love of my family and friends near and far

Infrequently touching by phone or by message

Our prayers for each other are always a blessing

There is plenty of room

There is plenty of space

In this way

To reach out to people I haven’t met yet

For the ripples of love to touch more than my circle

My purpose is greater than self satisfaction

Playfully playing with life’s interactions

I let down the walls that defined me

Turned up the flames of the fire that refined me

Over and over again I take wing

Flying free from the ashes of yesterday’s woe

You put a torch to a beautiful thing

Burning, I hold your gaze as I sing

Alone is alright

I am good company

Alone is all right

There’s no wrong to this song

I take wing

yellow and white smoke during night time
Photo by Rostislav Uzunov on Pexels.com
Posted on 1 Comment

Buried Alive

There’s a moment of desperation

When it all goes awry

A breakneck pace of events

Wondering

Will you live or

Will you die

Inevitable

Of course

A chance encounter

Might brush one off the path

Without warning

And yet

That stark clarity

Ultraviolet black light

Superimposition

Wreath while waiting in between diagnostic tests

Adrenaline rush

Of an intruder within

One’s own body

Sacred

Terms of terror

Biopsy

Will you live or die

Heads or tails

And how does one prepare

To say those

Words to family and friends:

“I’ve been caught out with a fatal condition

(LIFE)

with no cure and no hope but for a painless end.”

~ diagnosed to die
Waiting with a wall quilt

And to feel like I’ve

Let them down

And failed somehow

To survive another chapter and that

The writer of my life

Has no mercy

Is killing the character

I had loved to hate and

Hated to love

The character I learned to

Cherish and value

And yet here we were

We were buying burial plots

And stitching a shroud

Of memories for the end

Images were taken of

My insides inside out

Technicians tears and mine

Were mingled in the doubt

This year spent shielded

From the virus

Only to be vaccinated

And find death sneaking

In a back door left

Unguarded

In the waiting room. It would be good news, but we didn’t know that yet

How death cheated I supposed

How apropos I figured

Because again I felt

That precious wonder in

Each breath

I want to live

I want to live

And all those images

Would say that

There’s a small suspicious spot

It’s early

No matter if the worst

Case comes to pass

You’ve got this and it

Feels just like

A second chance

Life is short, and we never know, really, how short it will be

My good friend went with me to the urgent care, and to the stat diagnostic appointment the next morning. The period between the initial visit and the test results were fraught with tension, grief, preparation, and panic. The nurse, doctors, technicians were all compassionate, caring, and made this process less isolating than it could have been. A later appointment with the surgeon confirmed a probable positive prognosis. There still may be a significant journey ahead, but my chances are good, and I am grateful for that.

In addition to that, I am making some big life changes – in the middle of moving back to a place a used to live. I’m shedding all of my possessions but what fits into two car loads. The rest I have been, and am still, giving away. What I bring back into my life will be carefully evaluated for usefulness and beauty and character.