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God Allowed It

I have big questions

(Atheists are easy)

Did you ever wonder

If god is all powerful

Why those painful things

Occur

So much strife

So much grief

So much wrong is done

Worse yet

The wrongs done in the name

Of something else

I have big questions I am saving

For the day when I will die

Most start with Why

And some with

How could you let that happen

Maybe I will dissipate

My consciousness released

Maybe I won’t remember

How my time here was fully spent

But just in case it lingers

When I wake to reality

I have big questions that I’m living

That I’m keeping safe

Just wait and see

Are you a sadist, God?

Do you revel in the suffering down here?

Are you ‘teaching us a lesson’

Because even I am aware

That there are different modes and methods

Of teaching something true

And pain and suffering are garbage

Ways to get a message through

Are you keeping us in pain and discontent

So that when we jump through

Complicated hoops

We can receive a bit of grace

No complaining

Just rejoicing

That you have life at all

Be grateful

Says creator

Even if it’s hell you’re praying from

Dear God are you blind

So deaf you cannot hear the cries

Are you there at all, I wonder

And if I believe that’s true

What on earth does that say of you

That you allowed it

On your watch

You allowed it

On the clock

God allowed it

I’m in shock

If loving is what you claim to do

Then why did you allow it

Why did you make the rules

Catch 22

If God’s really a goddess

She isn’t off the hook

Does she turn her head

Does she refuse to look

Unless the prayers are made

At a sacred time, a sacred day

Will she withhold a loving guiding hand

Let the ills be come what may

Does she touch the budding blossom

Does she control the rains

Could she alleviate our suffering

Alleviate our pain

Does she laugh softly to herself

As we struggle hard against

The wars and woes of life

Every penny spent

Goddess allowed it

The times we were punched down

Goddess allowed it

Each and every time

So she could come along a little later

Pat us on the head and say

Good job growing stronger

From the things I could have stopped

And if he or she can’t break the rules

Who set them and who could

Is there something greater

Than a god or goddess who would

Hold back their ability to salvage

Their ability to save

Humans from the ugliness that

Life throws the human way

And if I were believer

And if my faith were strong

Could I stand there at the gate of death someday

In the end and still be wrong

Because God and Goddess they allowed it

And I worshipped anyway

two white concrete statues covered by dust
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My Heart Left

How can I feel anything at all

No longer alive, but weeping still

Waterfalls become rivers in the cavern

Where my heart once beat

A silent ocean calm

Tranquil

Dark and cold

Buried under stone shaped like bones

There’s no rhythm to my blood

No spark or twinkle in my eye

Lack and more lack

Making room for art and song

A dirge for love lost

I buried hope under divine dreams

What a love did grow there

That ran off with my heart

How shall I live

Without my heart

Beating here in this cavernous chest

Each breath in a painful remembrance

Each exhale a soft let go

I sigh your name

Bid you once and twice

Return to me

My heart

Where love did blossom

Even in winter’s frozen landscape

A garden of hope

A spirit of joy and light

In the darkest days and longest nights

water under caved
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Shedding

To be dragged loose

Falling finitely

Clutched tightly by gravity

Graveness

Graven

In stark relief

Colors beginning to fade

Testament to a vibrant life

Outlined and defined

By every passing opinion

Until it is shed

The thoughts slipping away

Beliefs untangled

Definitions unknotted

An ongoing undoing

Stomping a new beat on a hard earth

Vibrations coming into play

Lower and higher

Searching for depth among the heavens

Constellations of meaning

In pinpoints of light

I see you there

Your light flickering in the dark

A divine dance to an amorphous rhythm

We shed

We shed

We shed

And when we let go

The Cosmos sighs in satisfaction

Be fully

To fully be in space

In time

Every day

Every moment

Spreading wings to fly

Free from the earth

And soar joyfully

Released

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The Old Gods and The New – Daily Poem 11/17/2020

The old gods and the new

Don’t care about your happiness

Not in the way you think

They’ll drown you in despair

While they sit and have a drink

They’ll give you tragedy and strife

Just to build your strength

When your strength has reached a peak

They will leave the strong to crumble

Watch it fail and see you weak

Make your plan

Till the fields

Some years of famine

Some years of yields beyond all measure

The old gods and the new

Don’t care about your discontent

Not in the way that you imagine

They’ll send you seeking treasure

And riches you will find

Then send you searching after love

On a quest for the Divine

Then they’ll rob you of your gains

Shake loose all confidence

No security remains

Every boon that you will find

Will be removed upon the whims

Of the old gods and the new

Stand you there with nothing

Poor and loveless

Destitute of mind

Stand you there without a thing

To call your own

Praying to the new gods and the old

But they’re in a game of checkers

So, you see

You’re on your own