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New Song: Drowning in the Ocean of If Only

Drowning in the Ocean of If Only

Summer breeze is rustling in these trees
Whispering of things that cannot be
Too hot here to think about it
My mind still turns it over

If only I had minded more
If only I had been lovelier
If only I had given you what you need
I’m drowning in these memories
Drowning in the summer lands

Oceans in the summer lands
Drowning in the lost and lonely
If only
If only

The tears are sliding down my cheeks
My heart grows heavy even in the light of the warmest sun
The rains are falling in my spirit
As I wonder
If I had been more mindful
If I had been more humble
If I had been more everything you like
Would you still be seeking
A place beside me
Would you still be needing
A space next to me
Would we still be we and not alone
If only
If only
If only I knew just what to do now
If only I could bring you back to you now
If only I could mend all that went wrong
I would do that

That’s what I’d do

I’d find a way to get somewhere you could love me


I’d find a way to be someone you could love

And I wouldn’t be here sitting in this shade under these trees

Swamped by the ocean and drowning in the if only
If only
If only

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New Episodes

Appreciate the recent follows, thank you!!

If you’re new to this blog-space, here’s the link to my Podcast.

Latest episode is on Energy work, and is here.

I’m starting some episodes about energy work and healing, and I have a video up about that on my YouTube Channel, as well. Oh, but here it is here:

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Been Practicing

So, I’ve been trying to prepare a few simple songs for open mic night, and got all inspired and distracted from that to try and figure out how to play a long, syncopatedly complicated Tom Waits song.

This song has been on my heavy rotation for a long time and is a story-song with nine verses and the chorus only in there 3 times.

The structure of the song lends itself pretty well for memorization, but I had to really envision a story from the lyrics to try and internalize the unfolding of the story in order to know which verse came next.

I enjoyed the challenge of trying to find a way to play this song for a single acoustic guitar, and recorded this exploration so I could review to see what worked for it and what didn’t so much. Towards the end I play around a little more with ways to adjust the rhythm and talk about the percussive aspect.

As usual, when trying to work out the guitar part, the accuracy and ease of singing the song falls a little bit. It’s like learning anything – if you have part of something worked out really well, and then add in or learn something in addition to what you know, the original bit that had been pretty smooth will become jangled until the new part is well integrated into it.

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I’ve been practicing quite a bit.

Came down with a bad case of exhaustion caused by an underlying chronic condition, but I’ve been taking steps to recover. Resting, water intake, staying warm, a little exercise.

Here’s some progress I’ve been making on one of my Christmas songs:

Take care of yourselves well as we approach a new year.