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The Welcoming

He arrives in swirls of feelings

Wide eyed and questioning

I lower my eyes and make space

There’s plenty of room for us both

Will you

He asks

Yes

The boundaries in place

I will wait

For the welcoming

For the wonder

For the calling

For the pleasure

I will walk free beside him

When he arrives

In a swirl of colors and sound

Breathing life into a dead space

Breathing warmth into the cold

Breathing love into the empty place

My heart left when it flew

To be near him

I dance alone until then

Content to be myself

Letting my heart roam where it will

Until it returns for this moment

Of welcoming

seashore
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Freshly Brewed (Poetry Book Excerpt)

I was loved once

Not by the woman who bore me

Nor by the one who raised me

Not by the man who acquired me

Nor by the one who may not know I exist

I was loved by ghosts

Goddesses and gods

Spiders and birds

Trees and flowers

I was loved once by a dream

And once again by a song

Though I learned to love people

I did not know

I might still not know

How to be loved

It is a skill taught so young that those who learn

Forget it was ever a lesson

***

J’ai été aimée une fois

Pas par la femme qui m’a porté

Ni par celle qui m’élevé

Pas par l’homme qui m’atenue

Ni par lui qui me sait pas si j’existe

J’ai été aimée par les fantômes

Déesses et dieux

Les araignées et les oiseaux

Des arbres et des fleures

J’ai été aimée une fois par un rêve

Et une fois par une chanson

Même si j’ai appris a aimer les personnes

Je ne savais pas

Je ne sais peut-être tourjours pas

Comment être aimée

C’est une competence à prendue quand on est si jeune que ceux qui l’apprendre

Oblient que c’etait une fois une leçon

***

Excited to be working with a translator for this introduction, and the section introductions to my poetry book Freshly Brewed, a coffee table poetry book about objectification, trauma recovery, learning to relate to other people, relationships, and coffee. Point of view is often from the coffee.

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Alone is All Right

Alone is alright

I am good company

There are books in the corner

Stories waiting their turn

Violins in the air

Weaving peace in my heart

Twinkle lights twinkling

In bright cheery shapes on the wall

Crossing off quests from the lists that I keep

Each adventure leads to a new mystery

Alone is all right

After all this time

Turn up the music and sing

Turn up the music and dance

I fold myself this way and that way

I stretch out beyond these four walls

In contemplation I grow like a vine up the trellis

My mind flowers and releases each seed of new hope

I am right where I need to be

Doing my thing

I show up with love

Conscious and aware

I choose every day to be here and to stay

To do my best by the people I pass on the way

The secret is that I am never alone

My solitary existence is watered and grown

By the love of my family and friends near and far

Infrequently touching by phone or by message

Our prayers for each other are always a blessing

There is plenty of room

There is plenty of space

In this way

To reach out to people I haven’t met yet

For the ripples of love to touch more than my circle

My purpose is greater than self satisfaction

Playfully playing with life’s interactions

I let down the walls that defined me

Turned up the flames of the fire that refined me

Over and over again I take wing

Flying free from the ashes of yesterday’s woe

You put a torch to a beautiful thing

Burning, I hold your gaze as I sing

Alone is alright

I am good company

Alone is all right

There’s no wrong to this song

I take wing

yellow and white smoke during night time
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Imperfect Love

My heart loves perfectly

Wholly

Without terms and conditions

My heart is caged

Trapped

Within me

By mind and ego and scars

The past warps expressions

In the rush to emote

I trip over words

Phrased poorly

I am tactless

The worse it goes

The worse I make it

Stumbling and desperate

To give and share the perfect love I feel

The more I try

The more I fall

Stumbling over broken shards of truth

This healing is too hard, I cry

I squash the ego with humiliation

I’m sorry, I say

I’m sorry I’m broken

I’m sorry I wasn’t healed enough

I’m sorry I survived this way

I couldn’t find another way to make it

I couldn’t find a different way to live than this one

I contorted

To be loved

To be understood

I try to be what you need and what you want

Yet in the end I am just this

Mess of partially healed

Partially wounded

Partially wise

Partially healing

Partially damaged

Partially processed

Parts

I am a stew of emotions

I am a bird in flight in the rain

I am the limping wolf

The deer tangled in barbed wire

My heart is caught and wild and pure

If I knew how I would be only peace

If I knew how my words would only soothe

If I knew how my actions would only heal

If I knew how to be invincible

I would cease panicking

Stop suffering

End doubt

Even rocks are not invincible

The world itself suffers

All of life is a blend of love and pain

Light and shadow

I am a layered painting

I am a song of dissonance and harmony

And so are you

And so are you

Loving imperfectly like me

Being imperfectly loved like me

We muddle through it

Wading through this life

Knee deep in mystery

Bog sucking boots

Trying to find dry land again

We slog through the difficulties

Until we’re safe on the forest path

Filtered sunlight and dry trails

Our love growing more confident

Skewed a little more to perfect

A little further way from pained

And we walk joyous together

In the welcoming woods

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Desert Rains

The skies rumble

Grey clouds forming dark

Looming low as the wind rises

You should stay inside

Avoid the potential hail and lightning

But it’s been so long since it rained

The desert sun shriveling every plant

Except the cacti and the succulents

As your barefeet hit the hot sand

Large drops of water

Hit the ground

Small explosions sounding

Like smiled hellos in passing

Among parked cars and reggae

He told you he wouldn’t stay

He told you he didn’t want more than a moment

Of your time

But how he rained on you

Praise and attention

Smiles and intelligent conversation

And you danced barefoot in the storm

With a smile radiant

The lightning barely missing

The thunder roaring wild in your veins

Air crackled

Rivers were born, raging

Dying as the clouds moved along

The quiet pronounced the end

Buildings sparkled

The accumulated dust washed away

Days later the desert burst into bloom

Your dress hung from a line snapping

Reproaches in the sweltering breeze

You couldn’t hear it as your feet

Tapped rhythms on the cool tile floor

You bowed to your reflection

Which winked back at you

Though you might miss the rain at times

The desert heart is always blooming

Wild and free

green and orange cactus
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She’s Compounded

How many breaks

Of bones and hearts

Fractured into multitudes

She’s many

Exponential

It’s worse than you thought

Or can imagine

How the pain is held behind a smile

At bay

For a minute

For an hour

For a lifetime

He had a temper

They used to say

But it meant more than that

It was a code

And I know there are men in the mix

Suffering at the hands of mad women

You know it two to too

Pink Floyd knew new nu

It’s women hurting women

Men hurting men

Even so these intimate disasters

Create the ruins from which we grow

Everyone is hurting but it’s worse

Than you know

Or can imagine

It all breaks apart

Shattering

and we all want to be home

safe

nurtured

loved

Lacking the skills to get there

Without a map or a guide or a road

We stab at healing in the dark

And cut ourselves on the tip of our tongues

What was said under covers

What was cried in the early morning hours

What was hidden behind sunglasses

What was hissed in the angel’s ears

Of pain and threats

No one saw

No one told

No one wants to remember

Until someone told

And people saw

Remembering it all

They blame the teller

Not the hitter

They punish the outspoken

As their fears push them further to the edge

Fear has a temper

Rising

And she’s compounded

Fractured

And the earth herself

Is cracking open

Grab your pen when the tremors start

Write out your dreams

She speaks

This reckoning in ashes

This reckoning is the sea boundless

This reckoning falling from the sky

She is compounded

Healing

The doves fly at dawn

The nightingale sings

The mockingbird mocks

The pig roots for you

Under the underbrush

Where the truffles grow

She is compounded

A rising vibration

Lift off or or be left

In the throws of the unsung

Stuck in the birth canal

Choked off from the infinite song

Hope rising

Peace settling

stomp once if

Stomp twice if you hear me

flowers grass meadow time
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