Drowning in the Ocean of If Only
Summer breeze is rustling in these trees
Whispering of things that cannot be
Too hot here to think about it
My mind still turns it over
If only I had minded more
If only I had been lovelier
If only I had given you what you need
I’m drowning in these memories
Drowning in the summer lands
Oceans in the summer lands
Drowning in the lost and lonely
If only
If only
The tears are sliding down my cheeks
My heart grows heavy even in the light of the warmest sun
The rains are falling in my spirit
As I wonder
If I had been more mindful
If I had been more humble
If I had been more everything you like
Would you still be seeking
A place beside me
Would you still be needing
A space next to me
Would we still be we and not alone
If only
If only
If only I knew just what to do now
If only I could bring you back to you now
If only I could mend all that went wrong
I would do that
That’s what I’d do
I’d find a way to get somewhere you could love me
Again
I’d find a way to be someone you could love
Again
And I wouldn’t be here sitting in this shade under these trees
Swamped by the ocean and drowning in the if only
If only
If only
