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Dispersed

I am of a diaspora

Born onto foreign soil

How to find the way home

Across an ocean

Tracing my lines through

The helix of data in my bones

Where could I be assimilated

Which place would I be welcomed

From the mountains or the highlands

Or the ocean or the field

Separated from my ancestors

Right of return for me

Returned by right

Where where

In the Caucasus mountains

Would I be Ireland bound

Would Finland take me back

Stamped return to base

Where where in the world

Are there others like me

Made of magic

Made of light

Made of suffering

Made of plight

Will I dwell here forever

Die here then as well

Well would I put my roots

Deep into the earth who sheltered me

Raising my hands to the blistering sky

Praying for rain and rain and love

Be home to me, earth

Nestle me close within your caverns

Stone walls and soft mud

I cannot go back to a place unknown

How would I find my way

Throw me into the ocean

Until I am eaten or tossed onto the sandy shores

Bash me into rocks

Drown me in the depths

Bury me in the saltwater until I rise with stars

There is no place for me among the living

And the dead are not yet ready

I lie here on a forest floor and decompose

All the pieces laid out and counted

An audit of spirit an accounting

There’s love and greed and hate and envy and compassion

There’s impatience and intolerance and jaded hopes and faded dreams

There’s gratitude and shelter and tenderness and need

Count them one by one by one by one

Sheltered by the leaves

The tree roots pull me deeper into the earth

They light the fire within this hearth

Too damp to burn brightly the hot wind blows and blows

The heat is cloistered around me drying me

I am split

Just last years wood thrown and neatly stacked

Until yes that is a spark

And yes that is a flame

And yes this is me coming home

And no I never have and never will belong to anything or anyone

The way I find my home here in the dirt

The way I make my path across the sky

The way I grow just like the trees

The way I run feral and wild within the forest

My padded paws and clutching claws climb mountains

Just for fun

I am hunting truths and snarling at the wrongs

I run and run and run

Completely free

The lies are swept away in the fire and the flame

Where earth and wood and star conjectured

I am conjured magic

I am blinding light

I am gone in a flash

In the deepest night

Make your wish on me

Then I am not and naught

photo of shooting star during night time
Photo by Achraf Alan on Pexels.com

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