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Unprepared, that’s what we realized

Too late to prepare

A failure in the system of support

The facts had been laid out clearly

Emotions, well, not prioritized well enough

So we draw from resources already low

Withstand the shock and awe

Grief in gut clenching waves

Swamp us

How do we stand in these drenchings

No, we cannot

For a moment there is sand and salt water

In our eyes, and mouths, and ears, and everywhere

We are pulled to the surface

Loving hands hold us while we choke and spit

Words lie

“I’m okay. It’s fine.”

Words minimize the growing distress

We resist the grief, and pain, and change, and oh,

Would that we could just lie on the cold tile floor and weep

Writhe for a moment on the carpet and let our souls

Scream silently, loudly, gutturally to the holy ones who have abandoned us

In our times of need and sorrow and screw them

For our existence is too much

Always too much and never enough

We are in the dark tunnel, the cold night, the deep sea

Under pressure, freezing, and alone

So alone

We are a mote in the void of time

Flooding the world with our sorrows

How cheated we feel when the sun shines

How betrayed by bird song and flowers

How can beauty just be there when all this pain is still flowing

Rivers into oceans

The music changes slowly from this dark lament

Heartbeat slowing

Muscles relaxing

Aren’t we ridiculous here on the floor

The snot is not poetic, and we chuckle

Hungry and needing to use the bathroom

This round has become a draw, not another loss

Not another lost one

Not quite found yet, but on the way somewhere

Walking slowly one more step away from the pain

photography of waterfalls between trees
Photo by Rifqi Ramadhan on

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