Losses and Gains: A love letter to myself for 2022

I stared out the window of my room

Knocking down houses and building barns and fields

Filling the fields with horses

I dreamed of a kitchen window with a tree growing right outside

In the cool blue morning washing dishes in the future

The sound of feeling of memory of children not yet born

In the background of the house

I dreamed a house on a hill over looking the ocean

Just before I moved there

I lived in the house with the kitchen window and the tree for years

With my kids and my spouse

I pursued my education trying to go to med school

And I got so sick I missed class

Because I missed class I couldn’t find the final

I switched majors still determined

Road blocks

Yoga school

Road blocks

Herb school road blocks

I learned without degrees

Horses, hoof trimming, English riding Western riding, massage, nutrition

I taught

I learned herbs through study, and experimentation, from wild crafters

From plants and dreams

I left my farm and my horses and my harvest

Starting over

Always starting over

I climbed the corporate ladder

Swiftly doubling my wages

Then Black Lives Matter and Covid

And I cashed in my corporate winnings and walked away

What to dream now

What to do with this life I live

How to dream again when I know dreams die too sometimes

Same as living

Even though death is always there

Why not dream

We all lose it all eventually

Pursue

Laughter and enjoyment and fun

No need to dream so seriously

No need to dream so seriously

Dream lighthearted and filled with joy

Turn your sense of humor and sarcasm and adroit observations

Into gold into light into happiness

Write and sing and laugh and love and dance and play

And work, sure, we must all work at something

But can we work with loving visage

Could we work with a spirit of adventure

Can we see ourselves more clearly

Embodied spirit

Wise souls entwined with life

Working to live more fully

Bringing a sparkle every day to others

Can we revel in this life

For a moment an hour a day a year

man and woman dancing on stage
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