My heart loves perfectly
Wholly
Without terms and conditions
My heart is caged
Trapped
Within me
By mind and ego and scars
The past warps expressions
In the rush to emote
I trip over words
Phrased poorly
I am tactless
The worse it goes
The worse I make it
Stumbling and desperate
To give and share the perfect love I feel
The more I try
The more I fall
Stumbling over broken shards of truth
This healing is too hard, I cry
I squash the ego with humiliation
I’m sorry, I say
I’m sorry I’m broken
I’m sorry I wasn’t healed enough
I’m sorry I survived this way
I couldn’t find another way to make it
I couldn’t find a different way to live than this one
I contorted
To be loved
To be understood
I try to be what you need and what you want
Yet in the end I am just this
Mess of partially healed
Partially wounded
Partially wise
Partially healing
Partially damaged
Partially processed
Parts
I am a stew of emotions
I am a bird in flight in the rain
I am the limping wolf
The deer tangled in barbed wire
My heart is caught and wild and pure
If I knew how I would be only peace
If I knew how my words would only soothe
If I knew how my actions would only heal
If I knew how to be invincible
I would cease panicking
Stop suffering
End doubt
Even rocks are not invincible
The world itself suffers
All of life is a blend of love and pain
Light and shadow
I am a layered painting
I am a song of dissonance and harmony
And so are you
And so are you
Loving imperfectly like me
Being imperfectly loved like me
We muddle through it
Wading through this life
Knee deep in mystery
Bog sucking boots
Trying to find dry land again
We slog through the difficulties
Until we’re safe on the forest path
Filtered sunlight and dry trails
Our love growing more confident
Skewed a little more to perfect
A little further way from pained
And we walk joyous together
In the welcoming woods
